Reminiscence to a Fallen Angel
by Snowgrl
Summary: In his grief, Harry may just push the one good thing in his life away..(songfic)


Reminiscence to a Fallen Angel  
by: Snowgrl

DISCLAIMER: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by J.K. Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. The Song 'Someday' does not belong to me, but to Nickelback. The quote used from The Order of the Phoenix belongs to J.K.Rowling.  
  
Author's Note: I would like to thank my beta reader's MysticDragon1 and Lady Autumn for all their help. You guys are the best! 

" Are you sure you don't want us to go with you, Harry?" Ron asked me. Hermione's face full of concern as it always was nowadays. They had finally gotten together at the beginning of this year. It was about time too. Those two had been oblivious to They're feelings for each other since third year. It was good to know there was some bit of happiness during these dark times.  
  
" No, I'll be fine" I said. With that said I left the house.  
  
**(Flashback)  
  
" Nice to see you again cousin" Bellatrix sneered, pointing her wand toward Sirius.   
  
" Always a pleasure Bellatrix" Sirius smirked, blocking her view of Harry. " This   
  
isn't about us Sirius, its about Potter meeting his death, like his pathetic parents" Bellatrix said to throw a curse at Sirius.  
  
(End of Flashback)**  
  
_How the hell did we wind up like this  
  
Why weren't we able  
  
To see the signs that we missed  
  
And try to turn the tables  
  
I wish you'd unclench your fists  
  
And unpack your suitcase  
  
Lately there's been too much of this  
  
Don't think it's too late  
  
Nothing's wrong  
  
just as long as  
  
you know that someday I will  
_  
**(Flashback)  
  
Harry saw Sirius duck Bellatrix's jet of red light: He was laughing at her. "Come on, you can do better than that!" he yelled, his voice echoing around the cavernous room.  
  
The second jet of light hit him squarely on the chest.  
  
The laughter had not quite died from his face, but his eyes widened in shock. It   
  
seemed to take Sirius an age to fall. His body curved in a graceful arch as he sank backward through the ragged veil hanging from the arch . . . And Harry saw the look of mingled fear and surprise on his godfather's wasted, once-handsome face as he fell through the ancient doorway and disappeared behind the veil, which fluttered for a moment as through in high wind and then fell back to place. Harry heard Bellatrix Lestrange's triumphant scream, but knew it meant nothing-Sirius had only fallen through the archway, he would reappear from the other side any second...   
  
But Sirius did not reappear.  
  
"SIRIUS!" Harry yelled, "SIRIUS!" He had reached the floor, his breath coming in searing gasps. Sirius must be behind the curtain, he, Harry, would pull him back   
out again . . . But as he reached the ground and sprinted toward the dais, Lupin grabbed Harry around the chest, holding him back.  
  
" There's nothing you can do, Harry-"  
  
"Get him, save him, he's only just gone through!"  
  
" It's too late, Harry-"  
  
" We can still reach him.." Harry struggled hard and viciously, but Lupin wouldn't let go . . .   
  
" There's nothing you can do. Harry . . . nothing . . . He's gone."  
  
(End of Flashback)**

The memory replays in my mind its constant nightmare. I had lost him that night. I watched him fall through the veil, unable to help him, protect him. I had never felt so helpless. You would think that memory would have faded by now, but it hasn't. I could never forget that night.  
  
__

_Well I hoped that since we're here anyway  
  
We could end up saying  
  
Things we've always needed to say  
  
So we could end up stringing  
  
Now the story's played out like this  
  
Just like a paperback novel  
  
Lets rewrite an ending that fits  
  
Instead of a Hollywood horror  
  
Nothing's wrong  
  
just as long as  
  
you know that someday I will_

I closed my eyes leaning into the wind's feel as the trees swayed softly around me, like a stream of fallen angels dancing in the setting light of a dying sun. I could almost feel the vines and roses that grew brightly around his tomb, that stone grey tomb. I longed to feel his warmth to know his heart still beat but like the withering roses that I had placed only a day ago he to has left me. Not a sound was heard, no stirring of squirrels or rogue creatures, it was as if this place had been deemed as a holy place, one of sadness within the lucius greens and the powerful skies.

_Someday, somehow  
  
gonna makes it all right but not right now  
  
I know you're wondering when  
  
(You're the only one who knows that)  
  
Someday, somehow  
  
gonna make it all right but not right now  
  
I know you're wondering when  
  
(You're the only one who knows that)_  
  
" Harry.."  
  
_How the hell did we wind up like this  
  
Why weren't we able  
  
To see the signs that we missed  
  
And try to turn the tables  
  
Now the story's played out like this  
  
Just like a paperback novel  
  
Lets rewrite an ending that fits  
  
Instead of a Hollywood horror  
  
Nothing's wrong  
  
just as long as  
  
you know that someday I will_

I didn't even realize that I had fallen to my knees and had begun to cry, until I felt a small hand on my shoulder. I knew who it was before I turned around.   
  
Ginny. Despite my efforts to push her away, so she wouldn't get hurt, she was always there to console me. I watched her through teary eyes as she sat right next   
to me. Her eyes reflected the anger and sadness I was feeling. I looked back at the grave, empty as it was I was comforted in knowing he had gotten some honor. I could see Ginny watching me from the corner of my eyes and it pained me to see that she crying too. I pulled her close and tried to comfort her, as she had done for me every day since he had died.

"I'm sorry Harry."

I looked down at her, and she looked so small, so fragile. I can't do this to her. Sirius would agree.

"Sirius."   
  
This was the first time in a long time that I had said his name allowed and I could tell from Ginny's face that she realized that too. I pulled away from her and got   
up. She looked surprised by this, probably because she was expecting me to sit here all day like I usually do. No. Not today. I pull her up too and I take her hand. We   
walked back to Black Manor where we've been staying, with the rest of the Order. I turn back once to look at the grave and look at Ginny. There will be plenty of time to reminisce and forget, once the Dark Lord is dead . . . And trust me he will Die.  
  
__

_Someday, somehow  
  
gonna make it all right but not right now  
  
I know you're wondering when  
  
(You're the only one who knows that)  
  
Someday, somehow  
  
gonna make it all right but not right now  
  
I know you're wondering when  
  
(You're the only one who knows that)  
  
I know you're wondering when  
  
(You're the only one who knows that)  
  
I know you're wondering when.._


End file.
